How to Celebrate Your Fourth Year Wedding Anniversary

Happy fourth anniversary!

Yes, it’s been that long since you and your partner stood in front of each other and said the words that bound your lives together.

You became a team and then you went on to tackle the world together.

It’s important to keep the sparks flying, and little romantic gestures will do that for you. They will also remind your spouse that you care.

What can you give that says, “I love you?”

There are many ways to honor your fourth wedding anniversary.

In the United States, the traditional gifts are flowers or fruit, while in the United Kingdom, the gifts are linen or silk.

The modern gift is electrical appliances.

You should feel free to choose any of these that you think your partner would appreciate.

Alternately, you could choose something that is blue or green – the colors for the fourth anniversary – or you could give a necklace or bracelet containing blue topaz. 

There are five love languages, first conceived by Dr. Carson 10 years ago. It’s nice to consider your partner’s love language so that you can be sure that he or she really feels your love through your gift.

Today, husbands and wives can take a test online to discover their primary and secondary love languages.

It can be so helpful to understand how your beloved’s heart is moved.

Some folks need acts of service to feel loved, or kind words of affirmation.

Others need quality time with their partner, or to be touched on a regular basis. 

With the traditional gifts for the fourth anniversary in mind – linen, silk, flowers, and fruit – here are some ways to cater to your partner’s love language as you celebrate.

Show them your love by offering help

If your partner experiences love through acts of service, why not give him or her a hand in the garden, or iron all the linen clothes, as well as the rest of the ironing?

This may not be your thing, but it may not be your spouse’s either.

After four years, you’ve both adapted and settled into your marriage.

You’ve picked up chores that may be different than the ones you had when you were single. 

It’s interesting that linen is one thing given for the fourth anniversary.

It’s a very strong fabric, made from the flax plant.

Like your marriage, it’s made of two different threads that have been on their own for a while and then decide to cross and weave together, creating a gorgeous texture that has a strength all its own. 

Shower them with loving words

If your partner understands love through loving words, you’ll have to take a different approach. You could give a piece of fruit and a poem that you’ve written out.

Take an apple, for instance.

If you choose Laurie Lee’s poem about apples, you can write something that sounds very like an ode to marriage itself: 

I, with as easy hunger, take
entire my season’s dole;
welcome the ripe, the sweet, the sour,
the hollow and the whole.

Or, if you want to turn up the heat a bit, choose Neruda’s “Ode to an Apple,” which has the delicious words:

I want to fill my mouth with your name … I want to eat you whole. You are always fresh, like nothing and nobody.

Read this to your spouse while he or she takes a delicious bite of the sweet fruit. Could there be a better tribute to the person who has chosen to share this life with you?

Engage in more quality time

If your partner’s love language is quality time, consider the following: silk sheets.

You know you’ve thought of them before.

Because silk is one of the traditional fourth-anniversary gifts, why not give in to that urge?

Then turn off the TV, silence your phones, and spend an afternoon in bed and enjoy the feeling of silk against your skin.

Tell your partner your dreams for your future together and listen to his or hers.

Just hold each other in all that lovely silk. 

Alternately, because flowers are a traditional gift, you could visit a botanical garden together.

This is especially effective in the winter when everything outside has died and the world is waiting to come back to life.

Just as you have worked to make your marriage a beautiful place in a world that can be cold, a botanical garden is a symbol of hope.

Walking hand in hand with your partner through a beautiful garden can make you feel a bit like Adam and Eve, still awed by the beauty of the natural world.

Holding on to each other a bit like children, sure of your love for each other. 

Go the physical route

If your partner’s love language is physical touch, consider yourself lucky.

A bath is always a fine way to be intimate with the person you love, and since fruit is a traditional gift, why not add it?

Apples will float and can be passed back and forth, but the beauty of a bath is that messy fruit can also be eaten, and there is almost no cleanup.

You can have as much fun as you want, and why not?

You’re married.

You’ve been through four years together, during all the ups and downs.

Maybe it’s time to take a break and play again.

One fun game is to try to eat the fruit in as sensual away from away as you can for each other.

Allow the juice to roll down your face.

Waggle your eyebrows.

Be silly.

Laugh together!

You’ve made it.

Four years together are significant. So congratulate yourselves!

Now is your time to pause, to consider all you’ve been through, and to make goals for the new year.

What has worked well, which you want to continue doing with your partner?

What new things do you see in your spouse that you have fallen in love with?

What old things do they do, which continue to anchor you to your life together? 

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