How to Get Him to Celebrate Father’s Day
Father’s Day is a great time of the year for male parents, as it should be. It’s a day of laughs and celebrations, heartfelt professions, and an all-round affirmation of pride in fatherhood. It certainly is not a day to be overlooked, dismissed, diminished or taken for granted.
Not having a father figure can be quite devastating, and it’s not a good feeling but will have to be endured and the feeling of not having a father while growing up can leave a feeling of not being loved or being cared for especially if you had friends who always had their dads care and nurture them.
Your baby’s only two months old (they grow so fast!), and father’s day is here already.
Congratulations to you and a bigger congratulations to your husband, it couldn’t have been all roses and sunshine. Sure, there was the inexplicable pride, delicious disbelief, and sheer, near-inhuman joy of cradling that tiny little human in both your arms, but there was also the stress (and godlike strength it took) to push him out of your loins and into the world, the indubitable fact that both your lives have now been altered drastically; the day-long labor and the 2 A.M feedings
Not to mention you’re unconditionally tied to and responsible for a whole actual human being now; responsible for their joys and pains, their wisdom and foolishness, their growth, their survival, or lack thereof. Your lives are irrevocably changed forever, there’s no denying that. And what’s that saying — “You’re not responsible for anyone’s stupidity but this often comes with a caveat – Unless that person is your child. Then you’re screwed.”
It’s a lot of pressure on any adult, especially adults who’ve never been parents before. This is why the rest days, the fun days and celebration days should be preserved and anticipated and full-on celebrated, birthdays, for example, and anniversaries such as Father’s day.
Remember challenges can be a good thing
Your husband has been reluctant. Each day draws you closer to the big day.., to Father’s day, but every time you mention it he changes the subject, mutters something strangely vague or flat-out shuts down. No doubt this could be disheartening and even discouraging for you. After all, you just want to treat him to someplace nice or get him something nice, show your immense love and gratitude for his efforts and sacrifices so far, for the attention duly paid and love lavishly showered, but don’t be discouraged. There’s still hope. You can still plan the best Father’s day and give him the best Father’s Day gift ever.
Of course, there could be a number of reasons why he appears to not be looking forward to Father’s Day.
Reasons why he may not interested in celebrating Fathers’s Day
- It could be that he doesn’t want to put undue pressure on you, as having a child has been a lot on you both but especially you the mom, and since you haven’t even gotten to celebrating Mother’s Day (through no fault of his), he could perhaps be feeling like he’s cheating you out of something if he gets to be celebrated as a father before you get around to being celebrated as a mother. But it’s no one’s fault that your baby was born after Mother’s day and before Father’s day! So it’s your duty to let him know that it doesn’t matter to you who gets to be celebrated as a parent first, because after all parenting is neither a competition nor a race, and it would be your uttermost joy to celebrate and honor him as a father on that special day because you love him, because he’s been a great dad and because he deserves it.
- It could also be that he’s funnily afraid to jinx it. He might believe he’s not even been a father for a year — barely been for two months, and he’s terrified that celebrating so early might be trying to count his chicken before they hatch. And everyone knows better than to do that. It could also be a strange sense of guilt or a feeling of not being up to par. He saw you push that lovely little child out of your loins.
He readily assists with baths and diaper changes and feedings, but he might be feeling like you’re the main character in this parenting story and he the supporting character, thereby concluding in his head that he’s not worthy, at least not yet, to be counted among the men who should be honored on Father’s day. And you don’t want to (and definitely shouldn’t) add to that feeling by nagging him on about it, or being pushy or insistent. Remember to be sensitive, because this is a sensitive matter.
- Remind him of how much he means to you and how good he’s been, how he’s not just lived up to but also exceeded your expectations. Tell him he’s broken the record, set a new bar for fathers with his uttermost patience, gentleness, adjustability, and eagerness to learn and be involved.