How to Get Him to Celebrate Your Anniversary

Marriage – one whole year of sharing and giving in to to the mutual understanding of “’till death do us apart.”  Two hearts have come this far. You’ve shared a year of laughter and joy and pains, dreams and and hopes and loves. They say, “After love comes marriage arrives,” and you two certainly have faithfully followed the mold.

Congratulations on a year of mutual affection and peace. What a joy to love and be loved, to hold and be held. The world needs more of such beauty and you two seem to have hit it off on the right foot.

A perfect celebration

You’ve both worked so hard to get here, worked past the roadblocks, the misunderstandings large and small, the exes petty and changed. Here you are, waxing lovelier in unison, risen and glorious, shining in love and in marriage, and what better way to punctuate a year of marriage than go all-out on the perfect celebration?

But it’s come as a surprise to you – and really anyone else who hears as well – that your husband is hesitant and even flat-out refusing to celebrate the upcoming big day with you

Now, it could be a number of reasons, but whatever it is, you need not be discouraged or hopeless. It’s not the end of the road, not even the beginning of the end of the road.

More than anything else, he most likely feels as if he shouldn’t jinx it, as if celebrating your first year anniversary would jinx things, because people can be superstitious.

It could also be due to his first and previous marriage; he and his now ex-wife were big on anniversaries too, remember, and he might be skeptical about making it your thing as well, might feel as though it’d be unoriginal.

Maybe he wants to do things differently, and he hasn’t figured how, and he is afraid of telling you because he thinks you might misunderstand his reluctance or will to do things differently. He might even be terrified you might be hurt or hold grudges.

Some things to avoid:

• The last thing he wants to do is hurt you, just as the last thing you want to do is hurt him as well.
• Try not to blame him or make him feel bad, or wrong or cruel. As difficult as it could be for you, it’s no doubt just as difficult for him. It’s not as if he doesn’t love you, because he’s still with you and by your side, still trying to be the best for you.
• You should find the right time (and space) to have a heart-to-heart with him.
• Remember, timing is key here and if you can get the timing right, you are on your way to unlocking the doors to him seeing and beholding the beauty of celebrating an anniversary with the very person you have agreed and vowed to spend the rest of your life with.

Practical things you can do to get him to celebrate your anniversary:

• Remind him how much these things mean to you. How passionate you are about celebrations and grand displays of affection. It doesn’t have to be loud or elaborate – just the gesture itself is enough to make you ecstatic.
• Tell him how much he means to you, how much your marriage as well as being married to him means to you, and how much an anniversary celebration and anniversary gift would mean to you. Tell him how much you’ve been looking forward to this, and how hurt you’d be if you both don’t get to celebrate this big day like you should and deserve to, like you want to and have dreamed of doing.
• Think of ways to involve him in your plans as well. And not just passively, not just informing him of this or that, or asking if he wants this or would prefer that. Ways to actually get him to (actively) participate and make plans with you, and look forward to the day with you. For example, you could tell him to make a list of things he’d like to do or places he’d like to go in celebration, and you could also make a list of your own as well, and at the end of the day or week, you both could review your lists and boil it down to just one.